How 13 Years of Marriage Taught Us 13 Powerful Money Lessons

13 Money Lessons in 13 Years of Marriage

In July this year, my husband and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary. It’s hard to believe that we’ve been married for so long—it feels like just yesterday we were saying our vows! Looking back at our wedding pictures, it’s clear that over a decade has passed, and we’ve certainly aged along the way.

On our anniversary, I revisited a post I made for our 9th anniversary, where I shared nine money lessons I learned during those early years of marriage. The response was overwhelming, with many people engaging and sharing their own experiences. This inspired me to expand on those lessons in a new blog post.

As we’ve continued to navigate the financial landscape together over these past few years, I’ve gathered even more insights. In this post, I’ll highlight 13 essential money lessons we’ve learned in our 13 years of marriage. Whether you’re newly married or looking to strengthen your financial partnership, I hope these lessons can help you avoid some of the mistakes we made along the way.

1. Establish Joint Financial Goals Early

From the outset, it’s essential to establish shared financial goals with your spouse. In our early years of marriage, we often found ourselves “winging it” financially, which led to confusion and unnecessary stress. It wasn’t until we sat down together to outline our short, medium, and long-term goals that we truly began to move forward. Having joint goals not only gives you both a clear direction but also fosters teamwork and accountability. When you work together towards common objectives, it strengthens your financial foundation and enhances your relationship.

2. Start Investing Early – and Benefit from Compound Interest

If I could turn back time, I’d have invested earlier. Compound interest, or “money making money,” can transform even small contributions into significant wealth over time. Tax-advantaged accounts like stocks and shares ISAs are excellent tools, allowing your money to grow tax-free. By starting sooner, we could have reaped the benefits of compounded returns on returns!

3. Don’t Overextend Your Time or Money

Being intentional about your time and resources is crucial. It’s easy to want to accept every social invitation, but constantly saying “yes” adds up financially and can drain your energy. Prioritising our unit—our marriage and our goals—taught us to be selective, allowing us to save and spend wisely while maintaining a healthier work-life balance.

4. Job-Hopping Can Boost Income

Early on, I became complacent with my job, staying longer than necessary because it was comfortable. But switching jobs more often could have accelerated our financial growth. Salary increases happen faster when moving between companies than when waiting for internal raises. For those early in their career or marriage, don’t be afraid to explore new opportunities every few years!

5. Learn New Skills to Build New Income Streams

Learning skills can open doors to additional income streams. While I briefly learned sewing early in marriage (saving on custom dresses!), I wish I’d done more to develop profitable skills. Building skills early in marriage, before life gets busier with kids or other commitments, allows you to earn extra income on the side, potentially speeding up wealth accumulation.

6. Avoid Impulse Purchases and Plan Big Buys

Impulse purchases can lead to unnecessary financial commitments. A memorable example: buying a pricey sofa on credit, which we were still paying for long after we moved in with family and didn’t even use it anymore. Before making significant purchases, save up, research alternatives, and consider whether it’s a true need or an impulsive want.

7. Prioritise Financial Education

The right financial knowledge is transformative. Books like Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin helped us redefine our relationship with money, aligning our spending with our values. From budgeting to investing, educating ourselves financially has been one of the most valuable investments in our marriage. Whether through books, podcasts, or online resources, the information is there – you just need to reach for it.

8. Budget Regularly and Check In Together

Budgeting is a cornerstone of financial success. When we began regular budget check-ins, we gained control over our finances and created a clear roadmap for our spending and saving. Regular budget meetings, even informal ones, keep both partners accountable and on the same page, making financial stress less likely.

9. Be Selective With Credit – Only When Necessary

While credit can be helpful, it’s easy to misuse it. That sofa purchase wasn’t the only time we learned this lesson! Early on, we were too quick to buy things on credit, not fully considering the long-term financial impact. Now, we only use credit for necessities or calculated investments and aim to pay it off quickly to avoid debt spirals.

10. Don’t Wait for a Financial Crisis to Create a Side Hustle

Starting a side hustle during maternity leave made me realise I could have been building additional income streams years earlier. Having a side hustle or additional income source gives you financial flexibility, which is invaluable in times of change, like having children. Begin early if you can – the added security is worth it.

11. Plan for Major Expenses Well in Advance

If you know a big expense is on the horizon, plan for it early rather than funding it on the spot. This practice would have saved us from several impulse purchases and high-interest payments. Whether it’s for furniture, vacations, or large household items, saving gradually is often the smarter and more satisfying approach.

12. Focus on Skills that Complement Each Other

Learning skills that complement each other as a couple can strengthen your financial position and create a deeper bond. For example, if one of you is good at organisation and the other at sales, you might be well-suited to start a side business together. While working with your spouse may not be everyone’s cup of tea, having complementary skills can open doors to joint financial endeavors.

13. Align Spending With Your Shared Values

At the heart of financial success in marriage is spending according to shared values. Reflecting on the past 13 years, I can see how our values have evolved and influenced our spending. By frequently discussing and aligning our finances with what we truly care about, we’ve managed to build a more intentional, fulfilling life together.

These 13 lessons represent our growth as a couple and underscore the importance of financial education, planning, and intentionality. If you’re at the start of your marriage or even years into it, take these lessons to heart. There’s always time to learn, improve, and build a financially secure future together. Here’s to 13 years of learning – and to many more years of growing together!